The Pains of Infertility

Hi friend,

The week of April 19 is Infertility Awareness Week. 1 in 8 couples suffer with infertility.

Pink Rose; Joy Essential Oil

Photo Credit: Amanda Sengbusch

If you have gone through or are going through an infertility journey, my heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. As a licensed acupuncturist, I’ve had my fair share of experiences with couples trying to conceive. I’m blessed with being able to have many women confide in me about their journey, and while their stories are unique to them (as with all things), some underlying feelings and emotions are quite similar.

A conversation regarding fertility:

“I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.”

“Actually if everyone could experience just a little bit of this, there would be a greater understanding of the pain that comes with the uncertainty of fertility.”

While I know there to be great graces with going through suffering, whatever form of suffering you may have experienced, the suffering part of life can be very devastating. Especially during the seasons of suffering. But I pray it’s only that… a season. And I pray your season blossoms into the most beautiful life you could imagine.

"The journey toward hope often begins with desperation" quote

COMFORT DURING INFERTILITY

If you are suffering, please take some comfort in knowing you’re not alone. If you’re not ready to talk about it or reach out to friends or family, there’s a lot of support in readings, devotions, bloggers, and health professionals. While everyone’s experience is different, for so many reasons, I believe the more you hear other stories, the more opportunity for you to help heal yourself.

PAINS OF INFERTILITY

  • The shock when you realize starting a family is taking longer than expected.
  • The disbelief in that this is actually happening.
  • The anger when you realize what you have wanted for your whole life, might not happen.
  • The researching into all the treatments, diets, protocols, supplements, herbs, meditations, medications, blood tests, surgeries, etc.
  • The depression, if even for a moment in time.
  • The loneliness felt at baby showers and birthday parties while trying to put on a brave face.
  • The sadness you feel when your friends and family are getting pregnant and you still don’t know why you’re not able to conceive.
  • The shame you feel for how you’re feeling about other people’s joy.
  • The upward turn when you find a new treatment, or a new reason as to why it maybe hasn’t happened before.
  • The acceptance that all things will work out, even if not how you previously envisioned.
  • The hope that it will be this cycle.

"My feelings and my faith will almost certainly come into conflict with each other" quote

HOW TO SUPPORT LOVED ONES THROUGH INFERTILITY

If you’re not going through this journey but you know friends or family members who are, as a licensed acupuncturist, my best recommendation would be to ask them what they need from you. They may not even know what they need from you, or their need may change daily, but just asking shows them that you don’t know what to do or say because you know nothing will make it better or change their outcome. And sometimes that’s all that’s needed. Just love and support. No one else can fix their situation but they just want other people to know… it just sucks.

With Faith, Hope, and Love,

Emily Kappelman 

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